The Manly Color of Pink

I never considered pink to be a particularly manly color. In fact, I thought rather the opposite.  Then, I went to Vietnam, and was assigned to fly with the 361st Aerial Weapons Company -- the world famous Pink Panthers, the best helicopter company in country and legends in our own minds.

We flew the AH-1G Cobra gunship, escorting lightly armed UH-1 troop carriers into and out of landing zones "way out west".  During the Easter Offensive of 1972, we were a big part of the Battle of Kontum. (http://thebattleofkontum.com).  When you saw TV news reels of Cobras over Kontum, it was probably us.  When President Nixon announced on national TV that "Kontum still stands" it was due to in great measure to the efforts of the Pink Panthers.

To a man, we Panthers embraced the color of pink.  The exterior of the orderly room was painted pink as was flight operations.  And, although the helicopters remained OD Green, the very top of each vertical fin was painted pink.  We even dropped a pink sink onto enemy positions on Chu Pao Mountain so we could truthfully say that we threw everything at them, including the kitchen sink!

Being a Pink Panther was and remains a badge of honor for those of us who flew with them.  At our reunions, these forty years later, we are quick to proclaim "There were three kinds of helicopter pilots in Vietnam: those who were Panthers, those who were gun covered by the Panthers, and those who wish to God they were one of the other two."  At our reunions we take pride in wearing out pink shirts and hats and as you can guess, the manly color of pink figures prominently in the decor of our reunion hospitality suite, the "Stickitt Inn".

But I have a second and more important reason to embrace the color of pink.  October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and Paula, my wife of over 45 years, is a 17 year breast cancer survivor.

No one wants to learn that they or someone they love has cancer.  Neither did we.  But we did all the research we could, talked to everyone we could find who had information, and made what was, for us, the best decision for treatment and reconstruction.  In our decision process, my wife was mentored by our friend Maggi, herself a survivor.  In turn, Paula was able mentor Patti and Marge and Brenda and others when they were diagnosed.  Maggi and Patti have since left us. Paula, Marge, and Brenda continue to live each day as the gift which it is.  And I embrace the manly color of pink in support of finding a cure for breast cancer.

I am aware that the sentiment is meaningless unless action is taken.  I therefore plan to visit http://ww5.komen.org/ and press the button that says "Take Action" and follow directions from there.

Will you join me?

Life Is Too Short for Matching Socks

My friend Maggi, when confronted with a mound of trivia that got in the way of things both important and urgent, was heard to say “Life is too short for matching socks." 

I am not in the habit of going sockless and I am certainly not in the habit of wearing mismatched hosiery.  But, when faced with a mound of freshly laundered socks that need to be matched and put away, and I know that the washing machine or the dryer or the laundry basket has eaten at least one, I tend to agree with Maggi -- life is too short for matching socks and much too short to spend endlessly caught up in the fat of very thin things.

Mismatched socks are a small thing, easily solved with a tiny bit of effort.  There are a lot of much larger things that life is too short for.

Life is too short for "should have", "could have", and "would have".  Life must be lived in the present.  The experiences of the past not only cannot be changed, but are common to all possible futures.  

Yesterday’s gone.  Life is too short to hold on to regrets about what you should have, could have, or would have done.  No amount brooding over could have, should have, or would have done can change it.  

  

Life is too short for bitterness and resentment.  Bitterness poisons the personality.  Resentment poisons the soul.  As difficult  as it may be, let go of it. Life is too short to hold onto the cold prickliness of bitterness and resentment. To hold on is a decision you get to make every day of your life.  So is to let go.  Decide to let go, and get on with living. 

  

Life is too short to carry a grudge. Grudges are very heavy. Grudges weigh you down.  And grudges abrade you like an ill-fitted back pack that leaves you irritated beneath where you carry it.  Trust life to take care of getting things even.  Learn and go forward.  Put down your grudge and move smartly into life.

Life may be too short for matching socks.  Life is definitely too short for a lot of other things.  Let’s get rid of those other things, the should haves, could haves and would haves; the bitterness; the resentments; the ill-feelings and grudges.  Those things hold us in the past. Instead, let's leave what is past in the past and, having learned from it, let us step boldly into the future.

Life is too short not to.

My Choice -- My Way

This morning I proudly exercised my one office under the Constitutions of the United States and the Commonwealth of Virginia by voting to select a candidate to represent me in the Virginia House of Delegates.  The general election is not until November, but I like to exercise my rights as often and as early as possible.

Don't expect me to tell you who I voted for. It is, after all, a secret ballot.  Neither will I specifically identify who I voted against.  A secret is a secret, and who I voted for or against is not the subject of this post.  This post is about how I arrived at my decision.

Since this was a party primary, the two candidates are very similar in their views and stands on "the issues".  With the exception of their chosen professions and work experience, there's probably not a dime's worth of difference between them.  So, to differentiate themselves from their opponent, each has seemingly delighted in digging up the dirt and publishing accusations which again were strikingly similar. So I know going in that whoever gets my vote will be someone else's idea of a crook, and I'm stuck determining which of two alleged crooks I want representing me in Richmond.

And then, I determined the ultimate differentiator. 

When they passed the act implementing a National Do Not Call List, Congress conveniently exempted political organizations from having to observe its provisions.  As a result, every election season, I find myself spammed with calls and robo-calls from candidates and their political organizations.  The calls with a person on the other end are easy to take care of.  I politely inform the caller that I don't wish to be bothered at dinner time or in the evening and that any further calls will result in me supporting their opponent.  So far, it's worked every time.

Robo-calls are a bit different.  Since there is no person to which I can respond, I protest with the only weapon available to me.  I vote for the candidate who has done the least to disturb the peace of my existence with calls and robo-calls.  And this time, as in every election, there was one clear winner. 

I mean, given similar positions and experience and putting aside the fact that each considers the other to be a crook, what's left?

Simple Abundance

There are two ways of looking at life.

One friend of mine, when asked how things are going, will almost certainly reply "I tell you, things are rough. They're just rough." I find this reply a bit odd since he is prosperous, gainfully employed, and pulling down a six figure income.  For this friend, things are not rough, and yet he lives as if they are.

Other friends who live in circumstances where things are rough live as though they are not.

One friend, who has much, lives in constant scarcity and the other, who has little, lives in abundance. The difference is their attitude.

Scarcity says "There is only so much.  I must hold on to what I have and use it sparingly lest I run out"
Abundance says "There is enough and to share.  I will use it with joy and share it with gladness."

Scarcity says "When it's gone, it's gone and will never be replaced."
Abundance says "I got it or earned it once.  I can do it again."

Scarcity says "I will keep it safe in my closet."
Abundance says "I will use it. I will enjoy it.  I will share it so that others may enjoy it too."

Scarcity says "It is valuable because I can get something for it."
Abundance says "It is valuable because I use it."

Scarcity says "I will keep it because I might need it someday."
Abundance says "I'm not using it. You are welcome to it."

People tend to associate with others of like attitude.

If I would prefer to be around those who reflect an attitude of abundance, maybe I need to start by adjusting my attitude.

Conceived in Liberty

In November 1863, President Abraham Lincoln began his remarks at Gettysburg with the statement "Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal." On that day, President Lincoln continued "We are now engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation or any nation so conceived and so dedicated can long endure."

The four score and seven years have extended themselves into two hundred thirty five and, while no longer engaged in a civil war, the test continues.  Can this nation, conceived and dedicated as it was continue in liberty and justice or must it decline?

One wonders. 

Liberty is not bondage. Neither is it anarchy.  Liberty is freedom with restraint and that restraint must be the minimum necessary to preserve order and encourage felicity. Such was the liberty in which we were conceived, a liberty in law.

Neither is equality reckoned in terms of outcome or resources.  We are each subject to unique conditions.  We are each blessed with unique resources.  In that we each bring nothing into this world and it is certain we shall carry nothing out of it, we are equal.  In between, our equality is reckoned in terms of standing under the law and the opportunity to pursue our own happiness by making as much as possible of what we have as seems good to us.

At our founding, Thomas Jefferson wrote, "We hold these truths to be self evident: that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."

Inalienable rights cannot be taken away.  Our rights are inalienable, but not inevitable.  Men have struggled and died to secure them for us, and they are only maintained by continued struggle.

Whether our nation will long endure is always contested.  We were conceived in liberty; will we keep it?

The question is ours and ours alone to answer. 

Eulogy for a Pet

The last thing on this earth that I wanted was a cat, so when my wife told me, that one of the families in her pre school class was giving away kittens, I put my foot down -- firmly.

When she told the kids that we were getting a kitten, I put my foot down again, even more firmly.  And finally, when defeat was all but inevitable, I grudgingly accepted that they could have a kitten if they took care of it.

Thus it was that several weeks later I came home to find a small brown ticked feline, the runt, and at the same time, the pick of the litter had established residence in my domain.  

She had enormous ears, so large she reminded us of a rabbit.  And she swivelled them to follow every sound.  With those ears, the only name that fit was Radar and so she became Radar Snyder, our owner, and the ruler of all she surveyed.

That was eighteen years ago.

Early in those eighteen years, Radar discovered that her favorite lap for sitting after dinner and for napping on Sunday afternoons was mine.  She also made certain that I never overslept in the morning by poking her cold wet nose and whiskers under my ear two minutes before the alarm went off.

She sat on the arm of my chair when I read, on the monitor of my wife's computer when she was on line, and was the warm spot at the foot of the bed on many cold nights.

An indoor cat, she sometime escaped to go on adventures and was always either caught or cornered and herded back inside.  Several times, she escaped into the rain and was caught meowing plaintively at the window, as if to beg "Puh-leeze, open the door! It's wet out here!" and rewarded by being wrapped in a warm towel and dried once readmitted to house.

In short, Radar became a member of the family and a fixture at family events.  Some mornings she was a pounce at my feet, all teeth and toenails. She was also the obstacle underfoot as I made my coffee, and the sometimes disdainful presence in the middle of the room, back turned as she actively ignored me and everyone else.

Radar left us this week. After eighteen years, it was inevitable.  But saying goodbye is not easy and there is a Radar-cat-shaped void at our house.

Farewell, Radar.  There was never one like you before, and after you, none shall follow.

Of Remembrance and Gratitude

When I was a Boy Scout, it fell to my troop during the last week of May each year to visit the local cemeteries and decorate the graves of Veterans with flags, each flag placed a boot length to the right of the headstone. Thus we honored those in our community that had served their country during the Spanish American War, two World Wars, and Korea.  It was a small act, but an important one.

One of the stones where I placed a flag bore the legend F/O in front of the name. The F/O stood for "Far Off".  The body was not there but interred on some Pacific Island or buried at sea; but the memorial was part of the family plot. In my mind, it was especially important to place the flag by that one marker, to say "Even though you are not here, you are not forgotten.  Your memory is honored."


This week, similar similar small acts are being carried out at Arlington and other military and civilian cemeteries across the land as soldiers, boy scouts and other service organizations take the time to mark and thereby honor the memories of those who served.

And to say "Thank you."

"Thank you for your Service.  Thank you for the freedom in which we live. Thank you for this nation that you helped preserve."

"You are not forgotten."

"Thank you."